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The F*cking Lemonade Collection


Regular price $5.00
The F*cking Lemonade Collection

Sometimes life tosses you lemons and hits you square between the eyes. Repeatedly. Until you learn to duck. You can get mad, say some choice curse words, but you're still going to get pelted by lemons. Don't just spill the tea. Make your damn lemonade of choice (add booze for an extra kick), then stand in your front yard in your pj's, bare your jaded little heart, and let loose a few colorful words at the top of your lungs! There, feel better? No worries, we'll come visit you in jail and be sure to say, "Aww, bless your heart" for good measure while giving you our best smile. Besides, everyone knows, those fucking lemons had it coming...

 

Ah, F*ck Me 

Nothing sucks the wind out of your sails more than that moment when you're expecting something shitty to happen, and then it finally happens. There it is, it's the fuckening. You lean back in your chair and wonder when you got this old. 
Key Notes - Wild Honeysuckle, Watermelon Lemonade

Aww, Bless Your Heart 

If you're not from the South you may need a little lesson on this one. Nothing says, "You're a fucking idiot who couldn't find their way out of a wet paper bag." than this sweet, sugar-coated phrase. Be sure to smile and look at them with feigned pity when you say it. 
Key Notes - Fresh Strawberry, Gardenia, Fresh Lemonade

 

B!tch, Please! 

A little word of advice - don't say this to your boss or your future mother-in-law. Trust me, it doesn't end well. 
Key Notes - Peach Blossoms,  Orangesicle  push-up pop, Fresh Lemonade

 

F*ck This Sh!t 

When you lose your cool, misplace your zen, and generally are fed up with all the bullshit, remember to say "Fuck This Shit" and walk away. Go lay in some lavender or something. 
Key Notes - Coconut shavings, Lavender, Fresh Lemonade
 

Well, Sh!t

If you're not hearing the fabulous Southern drawl of Leslie Jordan in your head as you say this then we can't be friends. You'll get over it. 
Key Notes - Polynesian Hibiscus Petals, Watermelon Lemonade
 

What Fresh Hell Is This?! 

My mantra; my reason for living. Subscribe it to memory. You'd be surprised how many situations this saying fits so well. And it's always fresh because it never stops coming at you!
Key Notes - Red Raspberries, Yellow Rose Petals, Fresh Lemonade

 

 Zero F*cks Given 

Zero. Zilch. Nada. No more. Ever. My last one flew away. See! You can almost see it in the sky over....no, wait, that's a bird. Yep, officially all fucks gone. 
Key Notes -Juicy Honeycrisp Apple, Fresh Lemonade

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